[for Bruce]

[soulthatwanders]

It's only weird if you make it weird. Don't make it weird.

With that thought firmly in mind, Wanda took a deep breath and knocked on Bruce's door, jacket slung carefully over one arm. She'd put the task of returning it off for as long as she could because she'd secretly been hoping that it might disappear with the rest of Manhattan and she'd be off the hook, but it was apparently native. No such luck there.

Not that she wanted to avoid him forever, of course, but she really had no idea how it might go, and as far as she was concerned, New Year's had proved that her judgment was apparently weirdly impaired where he was concerned. Still, as long as she didn't make a big deal out of anything that had gone down (which was pretty much nothing, anyway), she was fairly sure it would be fine. Why wouldn't it?

"Anyone home?"

Not weird.

Comments

[soulthatwanders]

Wanda had to laugh at that, almost surprising herself with the sound. "I have... not led a charmed life, believe me. I died at 36, generally that indicates a wrong turn or two was taken somewhere."

[bannered]

"Maybe. Maybe not." Bruce shrugs again, his hands idly gripping the edge of the counter behind him, a tendon twitching in his forearm as he tenses and then relaxes.

"We play the cards we're dealt, even if it's an unfortunate hand. But - death? I don't think you can go back and try to calculate the exact moment, the turning point when that was what would happen." He straightens up. "That being said, you look pretty alive to me."

[soulthatwanders]

"Yeah, well, you weren't there," Wanda said, rolling her eyes in a move that was more self-deprecating than anything else. This particular incarnation of the man wasn't there, anyway, and that had become a pretty important distinction for her to make if she wanted to stay sane.

Assuming that was even still an option for her.

"And I got better. Happens a lot more often than you'd think."

[bannered]

"You're right," Bruce replies, slowly crossing his arms over his front. "I wasn't there." If anything, he's still occasionally reminded of the fact that he's not the Bruce Banner she knows from her world, and it makes him wonder how much he's being sized up to another version of - well, himself.

"I've learned not to be too surprised when it comes to the stories I've heard," he adds. "Just when you think you've seen it all."

[soulthatwanders]

"There's always something new coming right around corner that you never could have anticipated," Wanda agreed, shaking her head. Hell, one of the last things she remembered from right before that final fight was discussing Mac with the others, and how it only ever seemed to be the A-listers, the Captain Americas and the Thors who seemed to get those second chances. And now she'd proved herself wrong several times over, as had most of the other members of the team. There were never any certainties.

"At least that's the same all over, though."

[bannered]

"I can think of at least one thing in recent days," Bruce eventually confesses, bracing his hands renewed against the counter's edge. He's more of a fan of dancing around a potentially uncomfortable subject, but something tells him he'll be avoiding it forever if he goes that route.

"One thing I didn't exactly anticipate happening."

[soulthatwanders]

Here we go.

Wanda bit her lip on a cautious smile, fidgeting a bit with the glass in her hands. It would be easy enough to play it off, treat it like less than it was (which already wasn't really that much, she reminded herself), but he deserved better than that. Besides, she wasn't that good an actress.

"Yeah, that was... a hell of a thing."

[bannered]

A part of him wonders if this isn't the best time to bring up the subject, but it has been pressing on his mind since the night itself. She's here now, they're talking, and if the stories about people disappearing all the time are true, he isn't certain if this chance will come again.

"That's one way of putting it," he admits, unconsciously shifting his weight. "What I felt - I'm not really sure how to explain it."

[soulthatwanders]

She didn't say it, but Wanda was definitely thinking it. Boy, was she ever thinking it.

So don't.

She wasn't being fair and she knew it, so she held her tongue and just watched him carefully. If she should have to deal with all kinds of surprise revelations about feelings she'd apparently developed on the sly, then he should get the same crappy chance, too.

"Wh- what do you mean?" she asked, her voice softer than usual.

[bannered]

"I - I don't know," he replies, shaking his head. "I don't even think I really have a solid explanation. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all. What happened - a few months ago, I never would've even thought - let alone attempted to - "

He pauses, breaking off to rake fingers through his hair, leaving it more mussed than before. "I'm positive I'm not making any sense right now."

[soulthatwanders]

"Not really," Wanda replied with a smirk, but it was pretty much a lie. She was fairly sure she understood exactly where he was coming from, the only difference being that she seemed perpetually stuck in that nebulous 'a few months ago' place. "But that's okay."

[bannered]

"I just had never been able to convince myself that it was anything resembling safe for me to - get that close to someone," he finally adds, uttering the words slowly and evenly. "My track record in that area was less than ideal."

He pushes away from the counter as he's speaking, his voice hushed. "I touched you and it was like - something finally clicked into place."

[soulthatwanders]

Outwardly, she didn't react beyond mouthing a silent oh at his words. It was just a stupid New Year's kiss, why did it have to be more than that?

More importantly, why couldn't she manage to convince herself that the twisting feeling in her chest when she heard him say that was just that old familiar panic instead of the sheer want that it so clearly was?

"Well... I'm fine, so... you're safe and sound," she finally said with a smile and a half-hearted shrug.

[bannered]

"Listen to me," Bruce says, a little more insistently. He doesn't make any sudden movements, doesn't go to impress his point further beyond raising his voice beyond a quiet murmur, but he doesn't want this glossed over. Whatever this is, it's more important than a surface rendering.

"I've never been able to get that close to someone without being a danger to them. Whatever this is - it means something, even if there's no logical explanation for it all." Maybe it has to do with his acceptance of his other half, his coming to terms with the monster that rages deep down. Maybe it's the fact that when he looks in her eyes, he doesn't see the hint of fear that most try to hide and think they can.

[soulthatwanders]

"It- it's just this place," Wanda said, shaking her head slowly, still smiling but unwilling to acknowledge that she'd done anything special here. It was just a kiss. A significant one for him, granted. A... really good one, okay, she could grant that, too. But that was all. "It's a... different life here, you can get close to whoever you want to."

[bannered]

"Maybe it is this place. Given what's happened these last couple of months, that knowledge wouldn't surprise me. But I wasn't the only one there in that moment, Wanda," he says, glancing at her warily.

"I wasn't the only one who felt - something. Was I." The last two words dangle in the air, not as a question but a plea for her to affirm the way he'd felt her respond that night, heard his name on her lips.

[soulthatwanders]

Her smile slipping, Wanda froze for a second. It would be so easy to just lie, to find a way to let him down easy and move on with her life. Preferably with him still in it, but sacrifices might have had to be made. She couldn't do it, though. She spent a pretty significant portion of her day-to-day life lying to herself about one thing or another, and when asked so directly, she just couldn't bring herself to lie about this. She shook her head, just the tiniest of motions.

"No."

[bannered]

He isn't looking at her too expectantly, but there's something resembling hope in his gaze. He might get things wrong from time to time but he really doesn't think there's any way he'd misinterpreted the situation, not when his senses hadn't been dulled by too much to drink.

"Alright, then," he says, releasing a breath he isn't even aware he'd been holding in. Not that he has any idea where to go about it from here, but it's something just to know.

[soulthatwanders]

"Alright, then," she quietly echoed, trying to convince herself that this was a good thing. The elephant in the room had been addressed, now they could begin the tricky task of working around it. Being honest about these things for once in her life, though, apparently came as a bigger relief than she'd thought it could be, because the next thing out of her mouth was instead a sharp huff of something like disbelief and another confession. "I haven't been able to get you out of my head."

[bannered]

He's not sure what kind of follow-up he should be doing here. Beyond the initial revelation that what he'd experienced that night had, in fact, been mutual, he doesn't have a damn clue about where to go next. Turns out he doesn't have to think very long and hard about it, glancing up from his feet in surprise when she speaks again.

"Sorry about that," he says, mouth twitching in a self-disparaging tone. "Probably can't be all that exciting."

[soulthatwanders]

"It's... all the excitement I've needed, believe me," Wanda said with a slightly incredulous chuckle. She had obviously lost her damn mind, that was the only possible explanation as to why it could ever have seemed like a worthwhile idea to say something like that. "No apologies necessary."

[bannered]

"What, you? Death and everything after that? I would think it pales in comparison," Bruce quips, idly rubbing a fingertip against his temple.

"You should know you're not the only one who's been having - trouble. Not thinking."

[soulthatwanders]

She wanted to ask him why the hell she should possibly want to know a thing like that, but she kept quiet on the subject. The worst part remained, of course, how much it did please her to hear it.

"Most things pale in comparison to all that, it's... not a bad thing."

[bannered]

"You're probably right," he agrees, pausing for a second to look over at her. There's a sigh that slips out somewhere in the interim, but it's more of a long breath, and his expression is tinged with a slight helplessness when he finally speaks up again.

"What do you think - what do you want to do?"

[soulthatwanders]

"Oh, all sorts of things," Wanda replied without thinking about it, flashing him a rather deliberate, pointed look as she did so. It had been a long week, and she'd had a lot to think about. "But this- this," she finally went on after a pause, gesturing between them, "isn't really something I can... pursue."